Evening Bloggers
As the week has progressed my anxiety has risen sky high to going out with my best friend tomorrow, sounds stupid I know but when you suffer with social anxiety you'll get the gist of how I am feeling at this moment in time! Heart pounding, hands clammy and what makes it worse is the plan has changed... The original plan at the start of the week was that I was going to go round her house but now she wants to go to Brighton, which of-course brings all the more anxiety for me seeing as I don't leave this house without my mum! Gaahh I hate living with these problems so much, it also puts more emphasis on food when your out.. You get hungry, you grab something in Starbucks to eat, no biggie but when you eating is disordered it's not as simple as "grab a bite to eat!" Im not even prepared for her 19th, I need to buy her a card; get her "19" balloon- Im not off to the greatest of starts but we'll have to see how it goes!
Im going to have to try my absolute best on this as I do not want to let her down- i've done that enough in the past due to my acute anxiety! Im trying to think ahead to when im coming home and how proud I will be feeling of myself, but it's hard to think that far ahead when im riddled with anxiety!
Wish me luck!
Emma x
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