Today has been a particularly stressful day to say the least! I was meant to have counseling at College today at 9.30 but she never turned up, turned out the woman in student services didn't tell her that she was supposed to see me today! Not only was I annoyed that I had wasted an hour of my life when I could have been happily asleep in my cosy, warm bed but it was my mum that had to suffer too as she takes me to and from College!!
Anyways during the break between 'counseling' and my English class I had two hours to kill so we both decided to go into town. We came across this Juice bar which I totally didn't know was there, so that was awesome I got a 'Zing Time' juice which was freshly squeezed OJ with lemon && lime- it was totally lush! So we were sat by the river chatting about my eating disorder as we never really speak about it... we were basically putting CAMHS down for the fact that they've hardly helped since I got referred there when I was 14! I mean how hard is it for them to help with my eating problems? My dad works with American Express and gets free healthcare so he is looking into getting me a counselor who just deals with eating disorders... I mean how hard is it these days to get a specialized therapist?
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| This is the eating disorder I suffer with! |
I just worry that when I turn 18... in fact I turn 18 tomorrow in exactly four months time-weird! Like I was saying, I just worry that when the time comes for me to leave CAMHS- I'll still be in the same situation if not worse than I am in at the moment! I would just love to be able to go out and eat something even if it's the smallest muffin in the world, it would be a massive step for me but that's the thing... I can't do it by myself, I need help but where's the help when I need it?
Emma x
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